Retrograde | A Short Story

August 06, 2015

            She lives in a house on her own, which is rather grand for one person. Mary Viewponte, 24, only does her laundry on Wednesdays. This is not important, rather a fact. She has never been swimming, never been on a plane, nor has she been to a movie theatre. She’s quite reserved and does not speak much, but when she does, you can’t help but be drawn to her imagination and drown in the abundance of stories she constantly tells. Drown is a good thing in this instance. She went through a tough time a year ago and since then; she has forgotten the meaning of love and happiness. She would visit her grandparents and would always see this one old lady who’d cry rivers into her grandmother’s hand-made cushion given to her by her mother. Her curiosity eventually peaked and she then learned that the crying old lady, who would constantly stare at Mary without speaking a word, happened to be a widow. Of course Mary knew nothing of the story, however she instantly became fixated. Although unfortunate and rather daunting, Mary became oddly intrigued and fascinated with the lifestyle of a widow and all the benefits that came with it: the attention, the affection and the sympathy. Always having visitors over, constantly receiving gifts and pity (the best duo) and let’s not forget the leisure of having people do things for you...without asking. Oh, but that would just be horrible and inhumane to find pleasure in such a wretched situation. Not for Mary. This was her chance to become someone else—to feel wanted, to feel special. Ever since the ordeal Mary experienced, which she rarely talks about, no one has visited her. This was the moment she decided to live a second life. This was the moment she murdered her husband—metaphorically speaking. 

             Four years go by and Mary’s melancholy lifestyle has been treating her well. “Hey Mary, what did you want with your sandwich? Any sides or…” said Bethane before being cut off by Mary.  “Oh…no, I’m fine. Just the sandwich will do...on second thought, I wouldn't mind an ice old lemonade. Thanks dear”. Mary sits down in front of the television whilst she waits for Bethane with her food. Bethane is Mary’s friend from university, whom she met from the very first year and has been inseparable ever since. Bethane brings the tray of food into the living room and sits it in front of Mary. “Is that okay?” asks Bethane. “Yes, dear. Thank you”, said Mary in a polite tone. Bethane sits beside Mary and does not speak a word whilst Mary consumes her lunch. She then breaks her silence. “So…how are you feeling?” Bethane nervously asks. “…I don’t want to talk about—” Mary says quietly before being cut off. “OH! Of course! I totally understand. I’m so sorry I even asked…” Bethane pleads after seeing the hurt in Mary’s eyes—from straining it in front of the television, that is. “…But you must know, it gets harder and harder every day. Sometimes I wake up in the mornings and get dressed in anticipation to see…him”. Mary almost never mentions her late husbands name. Not only because it makes the act much more real, but because he isn’t real. “It must be so hard, Mary. You and Stephen were so happy together...”  Oh, that’s his name.” Mary whispers under her breath. “…You would always talk about him whenever he left for work and you almost never wanted to go to your own job because you just missed him so much”, explains Bethane. Mary looked at Bethane with eyes of sorrow and confusion. She was rather impressed at how well Bethane played along with her own story. For a minute, she forgot who was playing the game.

            A few months pass by and it is Mary’s birthday. Oh how Mary wished Stephen could be there. Of course, that’s what everyone else thinks Mary wants. “Look at my beautiful baby!” Mary turns around to see her parents across the room, her mother holding a box. “Mom! Dad!” Mary rushes towards her parents and hugs the both of them with the biggest smile painted on her face.  “I didn’t think you’d make it.” Mary says in excitement. “Of course! How can I miss my baby’s 28th birthday?”  “Oh, gosh. I sound so old. My life is pretty much half way over.” Mary says in a sarcastic tone. “Don’t say that!” Both Mary and her parents share a laugh. Mary looks down at the box. “What’s that you have there?” she asks. “That would be your birthday gift, dear. But I advise you to open it at the end of the night. You would appreciate it more. Trust me on this.” Her mother calmly explains. Mary takes the box and hides it under her bed in her room. She walks back down and sits with her mother. “So, how is everything, love? Have you been keeping yourself busy? I heard there is a new Rom-Com that came out a couple of days ago and I know how much you love your Rom-Coms. You should check it out, dear!” Her mother says while putting her hand on Mary’s with concern in her eyes. Mary is overcome with chills and pauses. “Is everything alright, love?” her mother worryingly asks. “Yes! Yes, sorry mom. I don’t know why that happens. But I’m fine.” Her mother looks at her in helplessness.
“…How are you dealing with Stephen?” her mother hesitantly asks. Mary pauses before she replies. “…It’s a working progress. Everyday is a new challenge. Sometimes I’m happy, sometimes I’m sad…” It's as if remorse wasn't an option. “I understand, dear”. Her mother looks down. Mary looks at her mother in helplessness and in guilt. To see her mother sad for reasons that are insufficient and deceitful hurts her, however, there’s nothing Mary can do at this point. She’s gone too far.

            An hour passes by whilst Mary chats with countless of nameless faces whom cater her with double the presents; one for her birthday and one for sympathy. Poor Mary.

“Mary!” A stranger’s voice appears from across the room. Mary tracks the stranger’s voice.
“…Abbi?” She realizes the strangers voice happens to be her childhood best friend, whom she has not seen in 5 years.  “Oh my goodness. I cannot believe it’s you! I haven’t seen you in…forever!” Mary overwhelmingly says. They both share a laugh and exchange hugs.
“I know. I’m sorry I haven’t visited you in a while. After you told everyone you didn’t want any visitors for the first couple of days after the incident, I just didn’t even bother to visit…at all. I know, that sounds horrible”, says Abbi. “No! Of course not. I totally understand. It was my fault. No wonder I got lonely…” Mary realizes the reason for her years of loneliness.  Both Mary and Abbi look at one another with a smile and embrace again. “So…how have things been?” Mary asks in curiosity. “Things have been great! I just had Michael and I’ve never been happier,” says Abbi while her cheeks turn pink. “…Michael?” “My baby boy. I didn’t bring him here because I thought that would take away the attention from the birthday girl…” “Oh my god! That’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you. Congratulations!” Mary shrieks with excitement and hugs Abbi for the third time. They stare at one another for a couple of seconds until Abbi breaks the silence. “Anyway, enough about me. How are you coping with…everything, if you don’t mind me asking? I remember when you called me right after it happened; you couldn’t even face getting into another car, nonetheless say his name. You were so shaken”, Abbi says. Mary looks at Abbi in confusion. She didn’t want to question her in fear of blowing her cover, so she continued to play along. “…Yeah. It was truly horrible. The most traumatic experience. I can hardly remember what happened. I miss Stephen...” Mary tries to get in character. “Remember what he used to say to you whenever he left the house?” Abbi lightheartedly questions whilst smiling. Mary does not answer. Abbi then prompts Mary. “…Be good, my Clementine…” says Abbi whilst Mary quickly repeats after her. “Of course. I almost forgot!” Mary nervously giggles. The anxiety heightens as Mary stands there in her own guilt. She questions to herself why everyone is playing along and not mad nor suspicious of her little charade. I mean, certainly she would be. “Oh, I almost forgot! This is for you.” Abbi hands a small box to Mary. Mary then opens the box to find a silver bracelet placed inside. “This is beautiful, Abbi. Thank you!” “Of course! I actually made this just for you” says Abbi. Mary looks up from the box and smiles. “Wow. That’s amazing. Thank you so much.” Mary clutches the silver bracelet. “I hope you cherish it.” Abbi smiles at Mary. “Anyway, I’m going to go and…mingle I guess. Or at least try to find Craig somewhere in this crowd” says Abbi. She chuckles and walks away. Mary is left standing, admiring the bracelet in the box with eyes filled of sadness.

            The party comes to an end an hour later and Mary decides to open her gift from her mother. She heads upstairs and unleashes the box from under her bed. She sits on her bed and places the box on her lap while she stares at it. She then lifts open the lid to find a copious amount of photos delicately wrapped with a red ribbon. Mary pauses. She unties the ribbon and places it on her bed. She takes out the first photo and admires it in confusion. In her hand is a photo of her and Stephen hugging on a beach. Mary begins to breath heavily. She examines another photo, which is of her and Stephen sitting on the couch in the same house she is living in. Mary takes out each photo in a panic and hysteria begins to build. She looks at the bottom of the box and placed inside is a letter with her name in capitals printed in the middle. She stares at the letter in hesitation, and then slowly grabs it out of the box. She holds the letter in front of her while her hands involuntarily shake. She opens the envelope and begins to read the letter. In the letter, it states the following:

            Dear Mary,
            If you’re reading this, then today is your birthday. So, happy birthday, sweetheart. You’re probably confused right now and that is okay—it’s not your fault. It’s important for me to tell you what I’m about to tell you, Mary. So, please…keep reading. We got into a car accident on July 12th, 1965. It was a collision with another car on a bridge near our house and we went through it. We nearly drowned, but we survived. However, the impact of the air bag intensely jerked your body and you hit your head on the side of the door during the collision, while I injured my chest. We were taken to the hospital and stayed there for four days. According to the doctor, we were fine. The following day, the doctor had told me some bad news. He said I was losing too much blood and had suffered more internal injuries than he had initially thought. He then told me you suffered a serious brain damage and it slowly progressed within those few days. You were showing early signs of amnesia and I witnessed, right before my eyes, you, my wife, losing herself. I didn’t know how long I had left and I was scared for you. So, I wrote this letter a few days before your 23rd birthday, in hopes for you to remember. You’ve got a scar on your scalp from the surgery and I want to remind you that it’s beautiful, no matter what. You are brave and you are strong.

                                    Happy Birthday, Mary
                                                Love, Stephen

            ps. Be good, my Clementine

            Tears stain the words written in the letter, which have been fading throughout the years of collecting past sentiments. Mary looks up after reading the letter to find her mother standing at the doorway, witnessing the pain on her face. She gets up from her bed and heads to the washroom. She looks into the mirror and caresses her scalp to discover a scar. She smiles.


The End.

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