Thank You | From Me, To You
December 15, 2015
Hello there.. it's been a long time. A very long time.. I've realized I haven't written on here for what seems like a century. I'm not entirely sure the reasoning of this absence, although I could say it's because I've been busy with life, but then that'll just be an excuse, right? What I can tell you is what prompted my re-appearance to my blog and the reason why I'm currently typing these words. I was sitting in front of my laptop, music playing, tea sitting beside me and I thought to myself "If I consider myself a writer, why don't I write?" and it got me questioning whether or not I'm truly passionate about writing and if I'm only playing an imposter. Then it hit me - I do write, every single day in fact. It may not be on this blog, but it's somewhere.. specifically, in my notebooks/journals. Let me rewind the tape of my life for a bit..
I met someone not too along ago - a month to be exact. I'll keep his name anonymous, just because I choose to. So before I met this chap (ha-ha...) I wasn't really feeling passionate about much, of course I still loved to write and engage in hobbies that excite me and give me reason to be, but I wasn't necessarily all in it. I was just going with the flow and taking it day by day and not really having any sole purpose to create. Keep in mind, I did write a bit here and there, whether it was on my Tumblr or on my phone or even in one of my journal diaries. I wrote about how bored I was, how anxious I felt. I wrote list of things to do and buy, I wrote about experiences that have effected me emotionally, and just about anything that came to mind at that moment. It was really just a past time..something to fill the void of emptiness. Then he came into my life - unexpected might I add..very unexpected. At first, I was a bit hesitant, confused and overwhelmed, but then I took the chance to get to know him and put myself first instead of overthinking. It paid off at the end. I got to learn and explore a whole new being, someone who isn't even from where I'm from and has such an exciting and interesting life. I became intrigued and fascinated and so did he. Suddenly, I became inspired to write..not a story or a blogpost but about him. It gave me this emotional energy and motivation to explore and express my feelings. I bought a new notebook and suddenly that notebook wasn't just a plain old mini mint notebook, but it was a time capsule in the making..of the adventures, experiences and feelings him and I experienced together. I began to write more poems and it sparked something in me. I became passionate, creative and excited all over again and it's because of his impact on my life. I can't help but talk about him to anyone I meet. I can't help but smile like an idiot whenever someone mentions his name or asks me "So, how is everything?" because the first thing that pops into mind is him. I've told him that I've been writing about him, or him and I, but I've never shared any of my writing to him because I want to keep this for myself.. for now at least. I want this to be only mine, and it may sound selfish but it's better this way. If I showed him my writing, I'm afraid the novelty of it will wear off. It will no longer be my little secret or my little hobby, but it'll just be..mundane. Nothing special anymore. Eventually, I will show him one or two of my passages or poems, but for now, I'll keep it to myself.
This guy has come into my life unexpectedly and has instantly created his own little home in my life. He's something special, and although quite the oddball or awkward (he hates when I call him that.. can't escape from the truth hahaha), he's definitely a gem, whether or not he believes it.
So I suppose what I'm really trying to say is thank you...for giving me that spark I didn't know I needed.
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