A friend of mine, whom will stay anonymous, was feeling a bit shitty about the world today and it stirred up some unexpected but much needed emotions that left me feeling sad and hopeless in helping them. My emotions got the best of me and I couldn't help but word vomit how I was feeling about their feelings. Before you jump to conclusions about what I'm saying; it's not about them, it's about the world around us.

Living in a western society, specifically a fast-paced, technology-driven with a hustle and grind philosophy, you can easily get swept into this nonsensical charade. Binary opposites are a thing--where there is good, there is evil. Where there is up, there is down. Where there are positives, there are negatives. Where there is real, there is fake (and the list goes on). We will see that there are two perspectives that we inhabit throughout our lifetime; the good and the bad. There is an in-between, but that's not the focus of this discussion (discussion aka me talking to a computer).

This friend of mine had told me something that elicited an unwarranted response, purely because I did not know how to react to something I could not relate to. They had said "Sometimes I think we live in such a fake and superficial world".. or something around the lines of that. My response? I laughed. Or maybe I giggled. Either way, I reacted in such a way where I had hurt my friend. I didn't mean to..I would never laugh at someone who confided in me or spilled their feelings. It almost felt as if it was an instinctual reaction or a coping mechanism of some sort. I say this because over the years, I have taught myself to see the world the way I choose to see it. I reacted this way because in that moment, I couldn't understand why they felt that way when they could easily choose to view the world in a much healthier way. That's when my guilt crept in and my compassion and emotions swallowed me whole and took lead.

It can be overwhelming living in parts of the world where we are exposed to different situations and ideals that have an impact on how we view our world and/or life. Whether that is crime/violence, the toxicity of social media, the power of money/success or living a curated and materialistic lifestyle. These (and many more) are what influences our views and perspectives on the world. Being surrounded by all these stimuli's that brainwash you into thinking you need this, you need to have that, this will make you happy, is all that we know. This friend of mine chooses to stay out of it all and rather goes against the grain and doesn't support these things. And I don't either. It can be hard to detach yourself from this pseudo-like world but it's extremely important. But when things get overwhelming, we crack and begin to get into this downward spiral of negative attitudes, a negative outlook on life and blatant bitterness regarding any situations that make you tick. But we can't let that effect our individual growth and how we choose to go through life..but before I continue with this thought, it also brings me to another topic.

The likes of social media, entertainment, money/success-driven attitudes, fancy and brand name materialistic items.. these are what defines us in the world we created. Whether or not we like to admit it or succumb to the truth of it, it's reality and it's happening as we go through life. The issue I tend to see regarding all of this is the inability to have and maintain a balance. Knowing how to balance living a life you desire and living a life for YOU. We all have goals for our own independent growth in life; these typically include travelling more, getting a good job/developing a career, being successful, making lots of money or being a boss or CEO of some company. I'm sure these all sound admirable and at the top of most people's list. I think it's great that we want to aim for the highest, be the best we can be at what we do and have our money and our materialistic belongings do the talking (or whatever it may be that represents us). I often think that many people get so consumed and caught up on perfecting their image and having a name for themselves that they tire themselves on years and years of hard work and being on the grind that they forget to take a moment for themselves. They forget to live for themselves. I always tell people this, including myself, that when we reach the end of our lives, all that we'll have left of and all that we'll carry is ourselves. Everything else is left behind. We don't want to live a life where majority of our time was spent on focusing on our image, making that big money or working "on the grind" so much so that we miss all the opportunities that enlighten and better us at human beings. I'm not saying working hard and being successful is not attainable--it's great to live a life where you're doing what you do best and reap the benefits of it, however, if you're spending 80% or 90% of your life doing so, then you're saving the rest with not much room to grow. This may sound preachy at this point, but it's something we all need to hear and check in on. You know what matters? People matter. Friends matter. Family matter. The memories, the good you do, the experiences you have that better you as a person, the time you spent helping one another, that is what matters. When you leave the world at the end of your journey, that is what you'll leave behind. A mark of the good you did and the positive impact you left on people. The money, the fame, the success, the 'name'.. it's all meaningless. There's no value to it.. which is funny because money = value, but in the grand scheme of things, it's only valuable because we put value on it. The real value is on our personal growth, our human interactions and the good and positive things we do for something larger than us.

Now, this brings me back to my initial (and final) thought. The world can be a messed up placed filled with puppets on strings, but if you don't want to be apart of that circus, choose to stray away from it. We shouldn't go through life believing in one thing. Believe in something that brings value and growth to you. In times when we have had enough of all the chaos, the bullshit, the facade we put on, it's important to remember that we can choose to view the world the way we want to. Instead of sulking in the bitterness, choose to view the world with good intentions and focus and work on being a good person. We may not be able to control other people and their actions, but we can control our mentality and what we choose to do. If you view the world in a negative lens, you will go through life with a negative and bitter attitude. I like to think that while the world has gone to shit and the people have become robots, I put on my rose coloured glasses (metaphorical one although I want myself a pair) and choose to view the world in a positive and healthy way. I am definitely not ignoring the reality of it or choosing to stay ignorant (I'm a social service worker..I can't be ignorant), rather I am working with that I've got and making it the best it can be. I'm choosing to see the good in this world and in the people and going through life with good intentions.

Traveling happens to be a major outlet where I can explore and learn about the world whilst exploring and learning about myself. It's the best medicine for personal growth and I choose to focus my ultimate goal and life duty on. (You're probably asking me.. well, in order to travel you have to have money which means you have to work?.....) A goal of mine is to work hard and develop my career so I can be the best I can be and do the things I want to do. But I am not working so I can gain lots of money so I can save and invest in this and that and buy this or that (besides the ability to live on my own). I am not spending 80% of my time working so I can exhaust myself and burn out before I'm 40. I find the balance that is necessary for me and the life I want to live and that is something many struggle to maintain. I want to be successful. Being successful is great! But to me, being successful isn't having a good career or making that $$ or having a massive house and the fanciest cars.. success to me is enriching my life and others through my interactions with others in the life I fostered. It is meeting new people and creating memories and experiences, it's leaving a positive and good impression or impact on another human, it's travelling and exploring places that provide new insights and perspectives and knowledge that I wouldn't have known otherwise. And then sharing these newfound knowledge and information and creating a connective community. That is what I desire.

So when my friend had told me what they said, I was confused and didn't know how to respond. After having a much needed conversation about it, we realized we both thought the same way and it made me question if others do too. I don't know what goes on in other people's minds but I would like to think we all believe in something other than what's being told, and we're just too caught up in it to take a minute to reflect. I hope that's the case.