Foreground
August 28, 2017
Do you ever have those moments when you're suddenly pulled into a vacuum of nostalgia--and not the reminiscent kind but the "what happened?" kind. I guess I can explain it better by painting a picture with words.
It's 12 am and she's tired but she doesn't want to go to bed just yet. She has roamed the internet and got every last ounce of entertainment out of her system. She sits there and ponders about what else there is to do. She ends up opting for something she hasn't done in a while. Perhaps listening to an old band that meant a lot to her, or scrolling through tumblr because it's an old friend she hasn't visited in a while. Or maybe she opens up her blog and starts writing.
She plays Grizzly Bear's 'Foreground' and her fingers begin to tap dance. The sudden memories and feelings and ideals that she used to carry have flooded back like it had never left. She's not exactly happy but she's not sad either. It almost feels as if she had rediscovered a friend from the past that she's neglected for so many years. She's upset that she had done that, but she is happy because it's still there waiting for her.
The life you play out today may not be the same as it was yesterday, but there are those moments where little dusts and particles that you swept away have crept up again and you're thankful that it hasn't completely gone away. I love my soothing melancholy music and my late night writing sprees and my adoration for deep thoughts.
When that moment came and I felt adrift from my old self, I soon came to realize that she never left. I don't think she ever will.
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