I am sitting here
in a perpetual state of nothingness
awaiting my day of doom
maybe not to that extreme
maybe just a slap in the face
or a rush of adrenaline
to prove that I am indeed
alive and well
isn't that something..
who knows when
this vicious cycle will end
i'll be waiting here
in the meantime
with my hands clutched together
my mouth stretched out on my face
thinking

"wow, isn't death beautiful"